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SHAME MUSIC

by Alex Walton

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1.
im a hypnagogic terrorist im a hypochondriac blessed with the knowledge of how many people aint alive and the way they all dressed i feel my bile rising like so many red blue jeans tell me babe whatever happened to all those 20 something dreams i must need the angel cuz she sure as hell don't need me i must need the angel so i can have a place to be im in the excavator im holding knives in my mouth out of obligation since i was forced to move down south im in port chicago waiting for my angel to report shes got 20 faces and her hairs 8 miles short when i die burn me to ash and throw away everything i own let him play his trumpet and dont unlock my cell phone if you hear these songs tonight and think they might be about you they probably are so dont ask questions you dont wanna know the answers to
2.
Cordelia 01:44
its so easy oh so easy to fall into someone else its so easy to write a song when you cant write poetry love speaks not in words love speaks in silence
3.
two margaritas and an antacid the last supper of the pleonastic tell me what you see in me and ill tell you why its plastic something borrowed something new take another face from the shelf cuz what else can i do but list all my faults to myself its all vaseline on the lens its all vaseline its all pretense i talk about books ive never read she talks about the rangers i always give too much too fast to complete strangers theres all kinds of things im not at liberty to say but this is just some dumb pop song and i haven't slept in days pepsi cola called me up said everything is for naught so if nothing matters in this life might as well spend what youve got you finish your microwave dinner ill smoke my doral lights the one good thing i can say about myself is that i never put up a fight they're making a movie on the streets of austin texas today somebody told me its a radical film the people are attractive in a real life way smear a handful on the glass and make the edges blur everything will come to pass but that dont mean it wont hurt
4.
Girl Week 01:25
wish my voice was a little deeper when i try to sing wish my path was a little clearer but i cant have everything knew a man rode into town said he knew just bout everything barmaid shot him dead in the street his last words were i dont feel a thing
5.
Holocene 04:24
darkness on the edge of the noun connects me to all that i know and love lucys sent his fiercest hounds to rip apart all that i hold above wrote this song on the day he died and its oh so plain to see i may never understand whats been placed in front of me aint life a dream driftin through the rain whole of holocene between my eyes and brain id trust just bout any thing if it was said to me straight but i cant remember a thing thats been said to me of late my baby turned to me and said theres more than this to life but all that comes to my mind is like an opaque crystal knife
6.
SHAME MUSIC 05:57
shame all i feel is shame a thousand years of shame a billion tears of shame and nothing stays the same as it used to be and nothing can remain like it used to be and i cant be the person that i used to be and i wish i was that person that i used to be shame all i feel is shame a thousand years of shame a billion tears of shame i reject the devils work and i walk into the light and i wish i could do some thing to make it all right and i pray i can forget everything ive done and maybe start a new life and never have to run but i keep on walking walking out that door i stop and lay a while on the hardwood floor and im sorry to all who love me those that i forgot im sorry to all my friends on whose hands ive trod and i believe in truth and i believe in love and i believe in christ and the lord above and i believe in satan and the number six and ill spend my whole life fighting fighting off his tricks and im sorry to my lovers for being who i am and im sorry for the listener who doesnt give a damn and im sorry to my parents for being your son and im sorry for saying sorry and ruining all the fun everyone ive been and every one ill be everything i touch and everything i see all i feel is shame i live my life in shame i give my life to shame i hang my head in shame i surrender to my shame all i feel is shame a thousand years of shame a billion tears of shame
7.
i will be your perfect dancer ill be someone new ill be your girl ill be someone true i will try to be your lover as you walk on broken glass i wont say much to no one tell me how
8.
9.
i thought i was looking for my brother on the streets of new york but i remembered ive never been and hot time is like wine when you pull out the cork and sounds just like rain on tin our love is like a bar of chocolate after a while it gets ugly and not so sweet you made the choice to forget the only thats real is this beach ill go to l.a. or tucson ill go wherever they wont take me theyre gonna find me bleeding out of my side in a car lot in corpus christi oh its all my fault thats what ill say anyway while im bleeding from my side cuz love is real always and will never fade away your young heart burst into flame something inside you it exclaims i know who i am
10.
Eurydice 03:34
tears are rollin down my cheek my hearts been yearnin for a couple weeks this hate is burnin holes in my teens i wish i knew just what that means someone asked me the other day why does love hurt that certain way why is it so hard to make a stand when god smiles and laughs at our plans eurydice dont pray for me you know nothing of what i’ve done cathy dont pray for me you know nothing

about

a thousand years of shame
recorded summer and fall of 2020

bandcamp download includes 4 exclusive bonus tracks: 3 songs that didn't make the record (Only Me, A Prayer, Autodidact Blues), and a cover of Velvet Underground classic I Found A Reason, as well as an exclusive .pdf booklet with lyrics, credits and dedications.

credits

released December 20, 2020

all songs written performed and produced by alex walton
bass on holocene by jaden cruz
cover photo by sam berman

YAS-011

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