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ALEX WALTON BY ALEX WALTON FROM THE ALBUM ALEX WALTON

by Alex Walton

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1.
im still lickin the roof of my mouth from where i burned it with a microwave burrito last night its all smooth like silly putty still in the egg not like razor burns on my leg invoked in hopes of achieving something like an image only existing in my head last month i drove myself deaf blasting beach life in death on my way to pick up McDonald's breakfast every morning, a girl still in mourning, over what, she's not sure, there is no known cure for this kind of feeling, her eyes on the ceiling her head on the floor when youre in a place that dont let you lock your doors and the walls are painted blue and theres no handles on the drawers all the things that are absent make you think about the things in real life that arent heaven is a place where you can't kill yourself heaven is a place where you arent allowed to kill yourself a little ivermectin and a whole lotta soul hyperbolic statements about rock and roll a good amount of aspartame, sublingual estradiol thai sweet chili and sexuality on trial hyperconfessional and overwhelmingly sincere the kind of girl who vomits after one beer truly ineffectual at righting my wrongs i have been the subject of far too many songs a teaspoon of lithium and a heaping of guilt how long can you cry over spilled milk an unspecified amount of sexual partners, hospitalizations, half finished books, and late departures im in love with thieves, martyrs, and farmer's daughters expensive silks draped over cheap tights and garters rock and roll statesmen no longer tasteful my mottled horse brays, oh isn't this wasteful know thyself, but not too much as the oracle at delphi say i know myself far too much to believe anything that i say now take this all as you will and write it down if you must let it supply a paragraph of your coffee table book about the interpersonal dynamics of boston based transsexual pop pariahs between the years of twenty eighteen and twenty twenty five a kinda hopeful thing i would hope it will be though i cant say ill be painted in the best light a restatement of my values to myself is all i can try for a restatement of my values to myself
2.
TRANNY SONG 03:07
i did not relate at all to the clothes i wore in some yesteryear i did not relate at all to the face that i saw in the mirror it was like someone else i just need to relate to myself i just need everyone else i just need a saving grace i wish i had shaved my face before getting on this bus this totemic 66 bus yeah just laden with symbols when i look at myself i see a woman i cant do much about you not seeing the same its all pain mitigation i cant force you to feel the same and i never would want to i am throwing off the safety net of my androgyny now no one can catch me if i fall we live in a country where it is not preferable to be seen for what you are i am switchin off the safety now im putting lots of faith in how little other people choose to see plausible deniability it aint much and it dont come free but at least its something i just need to relate to myself i just need everyone else i just need a saving grace i wish i had shaved my face i just wanna know are they staring because I'm a tranny or is it on account of my unfashionable haircut
3.
feels like my friends are reveling in dramatic irony feels like everyone is too scared to tell me something feels like my life is doomed to completely collapsing every few weeks or so i am insane i am unloveable i am tarnished i am unfixable i am deranged i am horrible i am stupid i am inconsolable i am insane, and delusional but could you say you're any better? i wish i was a drinker so people could leave me for my drinking instead they leave me for my complexes and constant overthinking everything theoretical is also true everyone revolts at the things i do the bands broken up, everything i love is gone now theres no one to help me sing this song yeah the bands broken up, everything i love is gone now im left here all alone to sing this song SO IM JUST GONNA LAUGH YEAH IM JUST GONNA LAUGH OH IM GONNA LAUGH UNTIL IM DEAD
4.
maladjusted poptimism and interfaith healers misplaced ironies and self conscious drug dealers ive been building nukes in my garage just so i can decommission them i cant live with petty insults and side eyes but that dont mean ill stop dishin em like robery ashleys perfect lives played at 1.5 times by a self obsessed vyvanse addict who pays tithe to twee pop musicians who have her number blocked like sucking cock at the slightest of whims the present is dim and the future domt look brighter hey man wont you give me back my lighter and ill do you a favor hey man wont you be my savior i ask to anyone who looks at me a certain way cuz what else can you say to someone like me ive been barkin up a series of numbered and signed wrong trees ive been seeing things other people cant see im not hallucinating just tired of tears oh its been a long year they all like the way i play my guitar they all like the way i make it whine they all think im gonna be a star they all think the future is mine they all like the way i play my guitar they all like the way i throw myself on the floor they all think im gonna be a star they want me imaged madonna and whore humility and grace, charity is the key cracked leather and lace, arent you sick of me? is this what you'd prefer

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from the upcoming record "I WANT YOU TO KILL ME"

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released October 17, 2023

photo by adrian anderson

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YOUTH AGAINST SATAN Boston, Massachusetts

LOVE LIGHT ROCK+ROLL
PEACE FOREVER
from boston town...

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